Block Donald J Trump from UK entry until ISIS is defeated (but not by using airstrikes), unless he is bringing cannabis, replacing Jeremy Hunt or David Cameron, or seeking asylum

That's my draft for the petition that would get the most votes from the UK public, based on the fact that the top UK Parliamentary petitions today are as follows (check for updates here):

My second choice is "No airstrikes on Donald J Trump". 

Third choice: "No UK entry to anyone at all, ever, including Donald J Trump".

These top petitions also raise a lot of questions. Why is The Donald's middle initial in there, but Hunt and Cameron go without? Why does Hunt get the full "Right Hon" politeness but Cameron doesn't? Do people only want the debate about Hunt or do they want a 'no' vote? Do you think the larger number of people signing up to the "no military action in response to the Paris attacks" petition compared with the "no UK airstrikes" one is simply because lots of people are happy enough with airstrikes so long as they are not in response to the Paris attacks (in the same way that more people are happy to keep immigrants out only as a pro tem measure than forever)? How many people have signed more than one of these? How many have signed all of them?